A Prayer in Uncertainty

Abstract painting by Paul Ygartua
Heavenly Father, I cannot see what is ahead of me.
The horizon is obscured, like a field on a foggy morning.
I come up with fantastical visions of the future,
But they are all plagued by an inner feeling of uncertainty.
My Lord, where am I going?
Is there an end to the harsh winds of the world that beset me?
How long will your enemies be allowed to destroy all that is good?
Why must we be humiliated time and time again by those that hate You?

Father, forgive my foolishness! 
Forgive my weakness! 
Forgive my lack of trust!
Like Peter I have taken my eyes off you, and now am drowning in this sea of doubt.
You are Sovereign over all things, and nothing escapes Your Will.
I am but a vapor in the wind, and the universe is but a grain of sand in your palm.
Lord, in uncertainty you teach me that I am powerless without You. 
You teach me that I must trust in your Divine Providence.

Therefore, oh Lord, I pray that you grant me trust.
Grant me perseverance amidst the persecution that Christ promised would come.
Give me the ability to discern your Will and to make it my own.
Make the horizon clear to me.
Fill me with the joy that comes when one fully embraces You.
Bring about peace both in my mind and in this tumultuous world.
As you took Peter's hand and drew him out of doubt, so take mine.
I ask all these things in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

I composed this short prayer today, on election day, because it perfectly encapsulates how I currently feel about my own personal life as well as the world around me. Oftentimes we allow ourselves to become afraid when we feel the wind against us. The story of Jesus and Peter walking on water is one of my favorites from the Gospels. There is so much to learn from this rich story, and I often find myself in the same position as Peter. Too many times have I, in my journey towards Christ on the sea that is earthly life, fallen into the water because I fear the wind that rushes around me. This wind—whether it be a difficulty in school, in my career trajectory, in my relationships with others, in my faith or in the Church, or some political or economic event—often causes me to take my eyes off of Christ. I begin to worry about the wind and how it affects me, whether that be physically, mentally, or emotionally, rather than worrying about my journey towards the Son of God and my Saviour. My mind is filled with fear, uncertainty, and sometimes even despair, and I sink because I forget that I have a God and a faith which allows me to walk on water and endure even the harshest winds. While I am probably no good at writing prayers, I wanted to share this one because maybe you, too, have the same experience and would benefit from a refocusing on Christ and a renewal of your trust in Him. I hope you find reading it as spiritually edifying as I did writing it.

(I chose this modern, abstract art piece because I think it encapsulates the feeling of vagueness, uncertainty, obscurity, meaninglessness, and confusion that we often have in life when we lose sight of Christ. In Christ there is clarity, there is peace, and there is meaning.)

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